Lifehack: Biblical conflict resolution tactics applied in a modern setting.

You don’t have to be religious to appreciate this vastly underrated tip at resolving interpersonal conflict…

Oh, believe me, I’ll tell you what the Fox says! — Photo by cloudvisual.co.uk on Unsplash

A Brother who Sins (Deuteronomy 19:15–17)

If thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: If he shall hear thee, thou has gained thy brother.

Translation:

If someone disrespects or hurts you in some way, go and tell them (and only them) to their face how they made you feel. If they listen to you, you’ve actually increased your relationship level with that person.

  1. Or they can say “No. I disagree. You deserved what I did to you.”

But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.

Translation:

If they still won’t listen to you, then share with your friends, family, coworkers, and others. Ask them to understand the situation and hear both sides of the story.

And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.

Translation:

If they still don’t listen after a few of you have come to speak to them, tell it to the church, or in modern society, the HR department, your school, the courts maybe, whoever it is that is in charge.

Reflection

How often have you gone straight to step three without even trying steps one and two? The issues we face in our society often revolve around behavior that separates us from one another, and isolates us from each other. But how simple and elegant is it to address the person that made you feel bad?

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